The moment is lost.
So, I wanted to post this morning, when the internet was working... it still didn't post. The higher-ups at DLK Enterprises finally figured out that we have T1 lines and not 56k modems, though that didn't last long. As of just a few hours ago the download speeds were once again slow. So what I was going to say this morning about updating my web sites more often, isn't holding true as far as I know. Damn.
Anyways, what was truly lost was the wonderful mood I was in this morning at about 10AM. It had to do with yesterday and how well it went. I wrote a paper on the differences between two characters from picaresque novels for my Modern Western Lit class. I did it in about 1/2 an hour and I didn't think it was that great. But my teacher picked on ME and told me to read it to the class. So I did, and he agreed with my points wholeheartedly. He even joked that he wouldn't have to lecture because I covered all the bases. Compliments from anyone are good, but this guy is a total elitist. Picture Dennis Miller, only chunkier, making the same obscure references and unfunny jokes. That's him, in a nutshell... and he really liked my work.He even came up to me during the break (it's a 2 1/2 hour class) and said I did a good job. I don't really like the guy, but since he thinks highly of me so far, I'll let that go. So in essence the theme "disconnected by your smile" applies here, except that the smile was replaced by praise. And some days I can use all the praise I can get.
Then again, all the praise in the world can't change the fact that I'm lonely. Not even all the girls that say hi to me and know my name. This loneliness kills me every night when I try to go to sleep. I can't stop thinking about her. I can't help but feel bad that she's worse off now (health-wise) then when we parted ways. I'd give everything to be able to hold her close and tell her everything will be alright. I'd love to see her face light up like it used to when I saw her. I cry about these things. Maybe someday I will see her again, hopefully, and let her know that she has not been forgotten. Of course, I think she already knows that, but I have to do this for myself.
Those two things seemed more powerful to me this morning. I don't know why.
And now for your viewing pleasure the ever-popular Hot or Not person of the moment I'd hit it. With a bag of walnuts...
Friday, September 20, 2002
Sunday, September 15, 2002
Long weekend.
Yes, so I've been gone for awhile, at least gone from here. I had to go celebrate Christmas at a hotel in Appleton. You read that correctly. Christmas. In September. The story behind that is as follows: My grandparents go to Texas for the fall and winter. So, unless we'd go down there (which would never fly) for Christmas, we're forced to celebrate it months beforehand. Which is OK, in theory. But the fact that this is made public, usually, is what makes it bad. It's horrible enough that my mom's side of the family are drunks. Well, most of them are, anyways. Add to this the fact that certain people DECORATE THEIR ROOMS with Christmas items. Also keep in mind that it's a tradition that a male member of the family dresses up as Santa Claus every year. Finally, remember that there's usually nothing to do but sit and drink, and you've got yourself a recepie for disaster.
My cousin was Santa this year. He's skinny, got jet black hair, and has tattoos and piercings. He had to walk down the stairs, through the hall (past the front desk) to get to the room. He had to ring bells and say "Merry Christmas." Needless to say, people stared. Not just any people, either. These people included hot, single women. Like an idiot, I walked with him.
Later on that night, I saw some of the girls. They ignored me and my cousins. Maybe it was because every time they walked by I had a beer in my hand. Maybe because they knew we were "the psycho people who were having Christmas in September." I don't know. The experience can be summed up by this scene:
(cousin, Steve, to girl who kept walking back and forth by us, obviously she was bored)
Steve: Hey, what's up?
Girl: (ignores him, keeps walking without so much as an acknowledgement)
With the exception of the free beer and the $20 gift card from best buy, I should've kept walking too.
On another note, I got my newly built computer up and running earlier tonight. I was sorry to see my old one go. I really was. I know it's just a machine. But it was good to me, despite was Microsoft threw at it. I just think of all the porn it held. Those lonely Thursday nights wouldn't be the same without it. Or the bad Photoshops. What else would I do when I had nothing to do? And of course, you can't forget all the websites I started on that thing. Good memories (barring the WinXP nightmare). Here's to you, Compaq Presario 7360... you've been a good friend. Thank you.
I know, that was lame. Anyways, here's the Hot Or Not person of the moment.
I'd hit it.
Yes, so I've been gone for awhile, at least gone from here. I had to go celebrate Christmas at a hotel in Appleton. You read that correctly. Christmas. In September. The story behind that is as follows: My grandparents go to Texas for the fall and winter. So, unless we'd go down there (which would never fly) for Christmas, we're forced to celebrate it months beforehand. Which is OK, in theory. But the fact that this is made public, usually, is what makes it bad. It's horrible enough that my mom's side of the family are drunks. Well, most of them are, anyways. Add to this the fact that certain people DECORATE THEIR ROOMS with Christmas items. Also keep in mind that it's a tradition that a male member of the family dresses up as Santa Claus every year. Finally, remember that there's usually nothing to do but sit and drink, and you've got yourself a recepie for disaster.
My cousin was Santa this year. He's skinny, got jet black hair, and has tattoos and piercings. He had to walk down the stairs, through the hall (past the front desk) to get to the room. He had to ring bells and say "Merry Christmas." Needless to say, people stared. Not just any people, either. These people included hot, single women. Like an idiot, I walked with him.
Later on that night, I saw some of the girls. They ignored me and my cousins. Maybe it was because every time they walked by I had a beer in my hand. Maybe because they knew we were "the psycho people who were having Christmas in September." I don't know. The experience can be summed up by this scene:
(cousin, Steve, to girl who kept walking back and forth by us, obviously she was bored)
Steve: Hey, what's up?
Girl: (ignores him, keeps walking without so much as an acknowledgement)
With the exception of the free beer and the $20 gift card from best buy, I should've kept walking too.
On another note, I got my newly built computer up and running earlier tonight. I was sorry to see my old one go. I really was. I know it's just a machine. But it was good to me, despite was Microsoft threw at it. I just think of all the porn it held. Those lonely Thursday nights wouldn't be the same without it. Or the bad Photoshops. What else would I do when I had nothing to do? And of course, you can't forget all the websites I started on that thing. Good memories (barring the WinXP nightmare). Here's to you, Compaq Presario 7360... you've been a good friend. Thank you.
I know, that was lame. Anyways, here's the Hot Or Not person of the moment.
I'd hit it.
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