The moment is lost.

So, I wanted to post this morning, when the internet was working... it still didn't post. The higher-ups at DLK Enterprises finally figured out that we have T1 lines and not 56k modems, though that didn't last long. As of just a few hours ago the download speeds were once again slow. So what I was going to say this morning about updating my web sites more often, isn't holding true as far as I know. Damn.

Anyways, what was truly lost was the wonderful mood I was in this morning at about 10AM. It had to do with yesterday and how well it went. I wrote a paper on the differences between two characters from picaresque novels for my Modern Western Lit class. I did it in about 1/2 an hour and I didn't think it was that great. But my teacher picked on ME and told me to read it to the class. So I did, and he agreed with my points wholeheartedly. He even joked that he wouldn't have to lecture because I covered all the bases. Compliments from anyone are good, but this guy is a total elitist. Picture Dennis Miller, only chunkier, making the same obscure references and unfunny jokes. That's him, in a nutshell... and he really liked my work.He even came up to me during the break (it's a 2 1/2 hour class) and said I did a good job. I don't really like the guy, but since he thinks highly of me so far, I'll let that go. So in essence the theme "disconnected by your smile" applies here, except that the smile was replaced by praise. And some days I can use all the praise I can get.

Then again, all the praise in the world can't change the fact that I'm lonely. Not even all the girls that say hi to me and know my name. This loneliness kills me every night when I try to go to sleep. I can't stop thinking about her. I can't help but feel bad that she's worse off now (health-wise) then when we parted ways. I'd give everything to be able to hold her close and tell her everything will be alright. I'd love to see her face light up like it used to when I saw her. I cry about these things. Maybe someday I will see her again, hopefully, and let her know that she has not been forgotten. Of course, I think she already knows that, but I have to do this for myself.

Those two things seemed more powerful to me this morning. I don't know why.

And now for your viewing pleasure the ever-popular Hot or Not person of the moment I'd hit it. With a bag of walnuts...