Never work at a library.

I feel really bad about my last post, I really do. I feel like I cheated myself or something. I keep saying I'm a goddamn writer, and people keep telling me I'm a goddamn good writer, yet I have nothing to say. It's been getting to me lately.

So here I sit at work, at the exquisite Harold Andersen Library in Whitewater, WI. As you can tell, there's not much work to be done here, especially on a Saturday afternoon. No one is in here (almost) because they all went home to mommy and daddy and their weekend jobs. But it's OK, I won't complain; I'm making an extra 20 bucks for working this extra shift.

I've had jobs before, but nothing at all like this. Well, I take that back. During the week I work in the office of the library, and my first job experience was in an office environment. Now you're thinking, how the hell does a 17-year old kid get a job in an office? The answer: My mom. She works for an insurance company, and when I was a junior in high school, I got this great idea that I wanted to work there. I spent the next 3 years (on and off) complaining about it every second I could. It was like Office Space, only it took place in a mail room. Sure, there were many days I had nothing to do. Delivering mail 8 times a day to different departments got quite old after awhile, and so did the other butt jobs they gave me. Butt jobs meaning "given because no one else in their right mind would do them." But it was really OK, despite my complaints. The people down there made it all better because they were all on the same level as I, except they were all adults, and I was a stupid kid. No where else but there in that mail room could I hear an old black man tell me that "pussy is pussy" and that he was gonna get me a call girl so I could get laid. Furthermore, as time went on I made more and more money. I started at 6.25/hr and finished at 10.50. How many 19-20 year olds make that kind of money?

So that wasn't the worst experience of my life. During school breaks I would come back to work for them through a temp agency (that's where the 10.50 figure comes from) and things would be good. Then last year they relocated me to another mail division. My job: Feed papers through a folder machine. That's all I did. 8 hours a day, I did folding jobs. It was the most redundant job EVER. But who the hell is going to complain (at least as a kid with no bills, etc) for ten bucks an hour. And later on, I figured out I could listen to headphones to drown out the roars of that damned machine. I complained every day how much that job sucked and I was glad when it was over.

That brings us to my summer job, the thrift store. That was the classic example of a business exploiting teenagers, or at least teenagers that really don't want to work for a living. My job, for the most part, was cleaning up after other people's messes. Whether it be the other workers' or the dirty customers that came into the store. For a person that is perfectly comfortable with living in his own filth, this is not an ideal job. Especially not for a measly six dollars an hour. But, like the mail room, the saving grace for this job was the people. Again, everyone was on my basic level. A wide variety of kids worked at that place, and most of them never failed to keep me amused. If it wasn't for Cheech and Chong, Dumb and Dumber, and the five dollar gift cards, I don't know what I would've done. Add to that the fact that we actually had a customer who looked like Chong, got in some kick-ass records, and just had an all-around fun time screwing around... and Value Village doesn't look so bad. But, sadly (yeah right), I won't be going back there to work any time soon. That's another story in and of itself.

The library takes the cake for my all-time worst job though. What sucks is I'm going to write this and it's not going to seem so bad. I mean, I only work 9 hours a week. But, 6 of those are devoted to the office, where I can't talk to anyone, even if I wanted to. I work alone, which under most circumstances is cool. But after 2 years of this, I can't take it anymore. It's mindnumbingly boring to sit and bind old magazines, even for two hours. I can't quit; this is a work study job and I need the money to pay for beer. And my apartment. I suppose when I work the desk it's cool. I always seem to get the shifts where no one is in the library, which is awesome because I hate helping people and I like to waste time. Which is what I do best. I sit and surf the web, read TIME and ROLLING STONE. The info desk is a great job, really. But the rest of the library gig sucks ass and I'd shoot myself in the head if I had to do this for a living. I don't like books that much.

DUE TO BOREDOM, I give you the Hot or Not Girl of the moment EXTRAVAGANZA!

I'd hit it. She's nippin'
MMM More cleavage
I'm really starting to dig redheads.
What can I say? I like boobs.
A goth chick for Ken.
Not only is she sexy, she knows how to use Photoshop.
BOOBIES!
Meow indeed!
Someone slap this poser please.
Jailbait

And just to one-up the bastard, here's MY song of the moment: Nirvana - "You Know You're Right"